Alana - XXIV
England
Sassy - Slytherin - Scorpio
ISFJ




blog CREATED
24TH FEBruary 2014

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Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”

kitten-burrito:

mamasam:

kabetown:

  • soothe your boobs
  • de-stress your breasts
  • undo the calamity that is your mammaries
  • adjust your bust before it combusts

I also like:

  • give that chest a rest
  • hakuna your tatas

don’t have a rack attack

6 years ago | 464899 via | Source

follow the person this was reblogged from

this really works for some people (like 10-30 new followers) so give it a try!

6 years ago | 601574 via | Source

unclefather:

I think it’s fucked up when people bite into ice cream. It is soft, my friend. There is no need for teeth


It amazes me that you can talk to a parent directly and they literally hear jack.

Say something under your breath though and they’re instantly like “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”



onethingconstant:

songbirde108:

mercurialkitty:

emmagrant01:

clevermanka:

youcangofindatree:

moremetalthanyourmom:

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

image
image

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

6 years ago | 1513990 via | Source
deanlirium      ✿